The Art of Being

She said She said

This past month has been a little strange. Nothing external... just internal. I am so busy with work it's not even funny. So busy I haven't even had time to think. On the other hand, I've been dealing with other situations that have forced me to think, really *think* about my identity. Sometimes I feel like I am making it up as I go along.

This past weekend I was in Boone with a friend of mine who had not visited the town in several years. I have visited once or twice a year, but this time it felt different. Maybe because I was with my friend. Maybe because of all this identity junk I've been thinking about. Maybe because, lately, reality has been more real than ever. Anyway, we were driving down 321, towards Blowing Rock, approaching the intersection at 105. I suddenly had a very weird sensation pass over me, through me, whatever. It was the same sensation that I get when I think about someone, then suddenly realize that person is dead. It's not the sadness that you feel about death, it's that creepy feeling that washes over you when you realize that you forgot that the person no longer exists. It was that same weird feeling, except this time it was about myself. For a short moment, I remembered who I used to be. As I looked at the familiar but forgotten sights, I felt the perception of my 20 year old self. Then I got the woozy feeling... she's dead. I was dead, and I forgot all about it.

posted by Wendy @ 7:50 PM